Talk:Al-Ma'mun al-Bata'ihi

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Al-Ma'mun al-Bata'ihi is currently a World history good article nominee. Nominated by Constantine ✍ at 12:10, 6 April 2024 (UTC)

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Ma'mun Al-bataihi was a warrior vizir responsible for restoration of the Fatimid state after much loss of glory. Please do help by contributing. DistributorScientiae (talk) 13:30, 15 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

References[edit]

Please borrow references from the other language Wikipedia.DistributorScientiae (talk) 20:46, 31 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]

GA Review[edit]

This review is transcluded from Talk:Al-Ma'mun al-Bata'ihi/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: UndercoverClassicist (talk · contribs) 13:23, 10 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I know very little about this period (certainly much less than the nominator), so will focus on prose, MoS and so on, with content points where I can. UndercoverClassicist ^T·C 13:23, 10 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Is there any image at all that could be used to represent him -- I know portraits are unlikely, given the Islamic rules against them, but perhaps a signature or similar?
the all-powerful vizier: suggest being a little more specific: was the vizir actually omnipotent?
carried out a number of tax reforms: suggest cutting a number of (it could hardly have been otherwise). If the number is quite big, suggest several or many.
Al-Bata'ihi also hunted down Nizari agents and sympathizers; the al-Hidaya al-Amiriyya, issued in 1122, rebuffed Nizari claims and affirmed the legitimacy of Musta'li Isma'ilism. : can we do anything in the lead to clarify a bit about who these people and what these beliefs are?
In the Levant, attempts to take the offensive against the Crusaders failed, with the loss of Tyre and a naval defeat at the hands of the Venetian Crusade.: I'd put a date on these.
AH 478 (1085/6): you might consider clarifying this to "1085–1856 CE", as we're explicitly working between different calendars here.
nisba of 'al-Bata'ihi': I'd italicise rather than using single quotes, given the ' midway through the word.
Could we explain nisba -- something like epithet?
Hyphenate rags-to-riches as a compound modifier.
when he died in 1118, the funeral prayer was read by caliph al-Amir (r. 1101–1130).: I would cut the regnal dates here: they're only really useful when we don't know anything about the date except that it happened during someone's reign, but here we have a more precise one (1118).
ghulams: something odd has happened here: the s is not italicised and not part of the link.
al-Bata'ihi ordered a tahwil ('conversion') ... al-Bata'ihi ordered a new cadastral survey (rawk): for GA, I don't have a particularly strong feeling about whether we should give the Arabic and bracket the English, or vice-versa, but we should probably be consistent. Some reviewers would advise sticking to English as far as possible in the main sentence.
increased state income by 50,000 gold dinars: was that a lot? Can we have any idea of what it might have represented in real terms?
the Jew Ibn al-Munajja: is his religion necessary or important here? Would strongly advise cutting or at the very least rephrasing so as not to use it as a noun in apposition, which can read as pejorative.
The enterprise proved very costly, which led to the imprisonment of Ibn al-Munajja: passive voice seems odd here: presumably someone imprisoned him?
caliph al-Amir: capitalise Caliph here.
was also re-instituted, after almost a century where it had not been celebrated, as were : could cut where it had not been celebrated (you can't re-institute something that has been continuously celebrated)
Fatimid-Ismai'ili: is this "Fatimid and Ismai'ili" or "that subset of Ismai'ili that was also Fatimid"? If the former, should be an endash.
al-Bata'ihi scored a major success: suggest rephrasing per MOS:IDIOM.
al-Imad citation: hyphen in title should be an endash.

Image review

All images have alt text and good captions.
File:The story of Cairo (1906) (14782234955).jpg: licence checks out.
File:Cairo, moschea di al-aqmar, 04.JPG: Egypt has freedom of panorama, so all OK here.
File:Fatimid dinar - al-Amir bi-Ahkam Allah.jpg: technically speaking, needs a PD tag for the original work (the coin). I am honestly a little suspicious that it's genuinely the uploader's own work (it looks like an image used to display a coin on an auction website), but in the absence of a smoking gun I won't push this one.

Source review

To follow.